Dancers and their parents anxiously waited for the list to go up. The list that would hopefully have their name on it. The list of people moving on to the next round of the audition. I was not anxious, I knew for sure that my name would be on that list. I had a great morning and I executed every combination with the swiftness and grace that I had been mastering my whole life. This was the day that would determine whether or not I would go to my dream school. As I was sitting there waiting for the list to go out, I was planning my whole life ahead of me. I would enter Marymount Manhattan in the fall and study for a BFA in Dance. I had already received a $10,000 a year scholarship, so I would be paying barely anything to get the education that would guarantee me a career in dance.
When the director of the dance department broke through the double doors, behind which our futures were being discussed, dozens of dancers swarmed around her to see if their name was on the list. I stayed back a minute until it was less crowded before I went to see that my name was, of course, on the list. It was not. Out of the seventy dancers that were there only thirty made it on the list and I was not one of them. I scanned it three times, thinking that my eyes must be playing a trick on me. In utter shock, I collected my things, checked the list once more, and walked out of Marymount Manhattan for the first, and last time.
I could not wrap my head around what had just happened. From the perspective of any average New Yorker walking down the street, we looked like a girl with tears streaming down her cheeks with her mother, walking along in silence. On the inside my mind was a maelstrom of thoughts. Why me? I was one of the better ones! I was having such a good day! What about my scholarship! We came all the way here for nothing! There must have been a mistake! Why me? Even with all of these thoughts, in the back of my mind I knew that I got cut and there was nothing anyone could do about it. I would not be attending my dream school in the fall and I had to say goodbye to my $10,000 scholarship.
I cheered up pretty fast, since I was no longer waiting in an audition, I got to explore New York with my mom. I was also cheered up when she surprised me with tickets to Pippin The Musical. I was having a lot of fun walking around and shopping, but I could not get the dread of the morning’s events out of my head. I was being tormented with thoughts of not being wanted, and the fear of not being accepted anywhere.
When the curtain went up for the show and broadway star, Patina Miller stepped onto the stage in tight black pants and a leather jacket, I forgot about everything that had happened that day. I was so excited to be there and I was truly mesmerized by the show. In the final scene, one of the characters, Theo, gets lifted up into the air and belts out the song, Corner of the Sky. That is the moment when everything clicked.
I realized that throughout the whole show, Pippin, was trying to find his “corner of the sky,” or in other words, they place where he belonged. By the end, Pippin found his place in the world, but now it was up to the little boy, Theo, to find his. This final scene gave me chills. As Theo poured his soul into the song I realized that everything happens for a reason. No matter what, the universe has a way of always making things work out. Marymount just wasn’t the place for me. Somehow, everything will work out before next year and I’ll get to where I’m supposed to be. I’m just still looking for my corner of the sky.
